A few years ago, Alicia was to go on an exchange trip to Quebec. Being a single mom, I had to fundraise my ass off to get her there. One of the fundraisers was the ever-popular pub night. The pub was packed full of fellow fundraising parents and all the friends and family they could drag there. As the evening came close to an end, I excused myself to go to the ladies room. On the way, I was distracted by a friend of mine, who was sitting at another table with her posse. Of course I joined them for a few minutes, laughing and chatting, and feeling pretty cute in the new outfit I had bought that day. While I was mingling, someone had said something funny, to which I replied with a laugh, "What a ripper!" before excusing myself and heading for my original destination.

After finishing up in the ladies, I was doing the customary once over in the mirror: hair, make-up, shoes (no tp on them) and butt (how's it lookin in these new pants?) To my horror I saw that the seem of my pants had completely unraveled, revealing almost my entire behind, with the exception of the quarter inch wide g-string down the middle. What to do!?! I had nothing to cover up with, and my sister and girlfriends had only just gone to the ladies room a few moments before! So I couldn't even wait it out until someone I knew came in.

Eventually, I mustered up the courage to sneak past most of the people with my hands clasped casually but strategically behind me. Once back to my seat, I informed my friends that it was getting a little drafty for my taste, wrapped a sweater around my waste, and bolted. Phew! I made it out without anyone noticing.

The next day I emailed a few people that I thought might get a laugh out of my misfortune. Soon after, the friend whose table I joined for a while at the event called me on the phone. She said that when I said, "What a ripper!" she assumed I was referring to the large tear in my pants!
"You saw that?" I demanded in a panic.
"Everyone did!" she said.
"Are you serious!?!?" I asked in a frenzy, feeling the blood leave my face.
To which she replied through giggles and snorts, "No... I was just screwing with you."
That wasn't the only eruption of laughter over what we now call, "the incident." I took quite the ribbing from a variety of people. I laughed right along with them, though. It was damned funny!