Friday, June 09, 2006

Ooooooh, my brother Dennis just reminded me of a funny/very scary incident that happened in Mexico. It must have been about seven years ago now that I was in a relationship with a guy I'll call "Coach." We had been seeing each other for only four months, when we decided to go to Cancun for a week. It was on this trip that I learned that a slight sniffle can turn into major sinus congestion once you reach certain altitudes, but that's another story.

It was the middle of the night and we were walking down a Mexican street, waiting for a bus that we could flag down to take us back to our hotel. Semi stumbling from a mixture of "vacation giddiness," and trying to get our money's worth of the "all you can drink" deal , Coach said, "Ohhh, I wish I had used the washroom before we left the restaurant."
So I, being the problem solver that I am, replied, "Well, just go into those trees and go against a tree. No one will see you."
Coach, being a rather introverted person, was unsure, but after some gentle coaxing, he glanced over each shoulder and retreated into the trees.
I think he was in there for about a tenth of a second when a police car pulled up and two Mexican cops emerged. The next thing I knew, Coach was being dragged into the car, struggling to refasten the button on his shorts. Now my Mexican isn't very strong, but I'm sure the two gentlemen were saying, "No pee-pee in the lagoon!" Over and over again.
Right before they closed the car door, I jumped into the car so as not to be left on some random street in the middle of the night. I was so freaked out, I was hugging the giant souvenir drink glass that the restaurant "gave" me.
Arriving at the Police station was intense. We walked into this small stone room, where there stood a rickety old desk with a giant prehistoric type writer and a big sweaty man sitting in a straining chair. After some interrogation, the man decided that for a small "fine" he would let us go. Apparently the alternative was to stay there as their guests for the next 48 hours. Since we were flying out the next morning, that wouldn't work with our itinerary. Unlucky for us, we hadn't any money on us but a little over bus fare. We explained that our traveler's cheques were in our hotel room and pleaded for our freedom.
It was tense while he deliberated, but in the end he let us go with this strict reminder:

"No pee-pee in the lagoon!"

5 comments:

Unknown said...

No pee-pee in the lagoon! Ha ha ha.
But where was that lagoon in the bushes? You are a sweet funny woman Sharon. And thanks for your comment on my blog. Couldn't you create that Link in your Blog? We can try to make it again...

Penny said...

That is one great story! Didn't you have visions of being locked up in a Mexican jail for 20 years? My mom and dad went to Mexico some 30 years ago without any travel knowledge. They ended up outside a resort and experienced "local" Mexico. My mom was so scared she swears they were all saying "we're going to keel you and you'll never see your family again."

sharon said...

Herman: Yeah, the lagoon was just beond the trees.

Penny: It was a running joke before we even went to Mexico, that we would somehow end up rotting a Mexican prison for the rest of our lives. ha ha, came pretty close.

ellen said...

Ha ha, reminds me of a favourite Seinfeld episode, in which Jerry gets busted by a mall security guard for peeing in the tiered parking lot.

If you ever plan to go to Mexico again, stop at a dollar store before you leave and buy a bunch of Canadian souvenir key chains (with miniature currency). The Mexicans love that junk, and you can get some darn nice service out of it. Might serve as a get out of jail free card for your next incontinent escort.

Anonymous said...

Guess he should have used the glass you got from the restaurant. Hee Hee Snicker Snicker