Hello, all my faithful readers, aka "Mom". The little guy on the left is my dog "Frisky". My sister Sheryl, My daughter Alicia, and I made a calendar for my dad last Father's Day featuring our little booger-nugget. It was hours of torture for all of us, but look how cute he is!
Don't worry, I'm all finished gushing about the dog. I'm not obsessed, even though he's so damned cute!
So, I guess I was giving some background on my past when I started this blog yesterday. Where was I? Ah yes...Teen aged, pregnant, and making one bad decision after another.
My relationship with Alicia's Dad was going down hill fast. His drinking, and drug use made it impossible for him to put his priorities in order. After a tumultuous two years of escalating verbal abuse and the odd physical altercation, I decided to leave. I finally got it that this man was not the man I hoped he was. Maybe without the substance abuse, and his own childhood issues he would have been, but all the maybes in the world wouldn't change the reality. So I packed up and moved back with my Mom and Dad. The next day Alicia's Dad was killed in a car accident. He was drunk out of his mind when he let his car drift over the center line into oncoming traffic. Alicia was only 10 months old. Thank God nobody else was killed. The people in the other car were wearing their seat-belts, but Alicia's dad died instantly when his chest made impact with the steering wheel.
It was the hardest thing, so far, that I've been through. Still reeling from the break-up, my emotions were all over the place. I still loved him, even though he had caused a lot of misery for me. You know how teens can be. Hell, a lot of adults are like that, too. The guilt of our harsh and bitter last words plagued my mind. It was a difficult process, but here we all are, 14 years later, everything in perspective. When I think about it now, it seems like I'm thinking about a dream I once had.
Anywho, that's how I became a single mom at the age of 18.